I was out of town for a few days at the Tony Robbins “Unleash the Power Within” event in New Jersey last week and while I was away, my husband took our daughter to visit with my parents. Shortly after their visit, my daughter was starting to sniffle and cough and within two days of my return, so was I. It appeared that we had both caught my father’s cold.
It fascinated me to think that even though I have not physically seen my father in a few weeks, here I was with his cold. And it got me thinking about what else I am harboring in my life that was not mine to begin with.
Our mindsets, our fears, the tales that have been retold to us over and over again that somehow take hold in our personal narratives, our self-limiting beliefs…all of these things make up the stories of our lives.
It’s an emotional minefield out there.
Yet, despite these emotional bombs not originally belonging to us, they somehow begin to weave in to our subconscious, twisting our identities in directions that are painful and shameful. We dim our light in order to conform to the stories we’ve allowed to become our realities.
Over time we artfully learn how to dance around the explosives. We weave a new pattern and leap over them, but regardless of how precisely we memorize the path; they’re still there, waiting for us to make a misstep.
We become masters at our own game.
We perpetuate the past and protect it fiercely by making the wrong choices for ourselves and in the process and in doing so we lose sight of our dreams. We become so adept at dodging these emotional bombs for fear of disappointing others we create a new story that doesn’t belong to anyone at all.
So how do take control of our own stories?
How do we detonate our emotional mine fields so we can go forth and be the change we wish to see in the world?
1) Tell the Truth:
One of my favorite Robbins’ quotes over the weekend was “Divorce yourself from the story of limitation and marry the truth.” When we get real on where the stories in our lives originated from and cut the cords to the painful pasts they are tied to, we reclaim our freedom. We allow ourselves to move forward in our most powerful way, in the shining light of our own unaltered truth.
2) Forgive Yourself:
We cannot heal our wounds without forgiving ourselves for the mistakes we have made. We cannot move closer to our goals with a gaping emotional wound. In the words of Marianne Williamson, “True Forgiveness is moving from fear to love.” When we can view ourselves through a lens of love we free ourselves to move forward without the anchors of shame and debilitating self-doubt. Finding forgiveness for others and ourselves can be as simple as releasing the string of a balloon. You simply have to let go and allow the pain float away.
3) Declare What it is YOU (actually) Want:
Once we are able to get clear on our truth and truly forgive ourselves, we allow ourselves the opportunity to get clear on what it is we really want. This level of clarity gives us permission to walk in a straight line toward our goals. This level of focus puts us in alignment with our true calling. From there, we allow ourselves to determine what it’s going to take to achieve those goals. It sets us free to take inspired action and make the difference in the world we were put here to create.
Imagine with me for a moment what it would feel like if your relationships, your life’s path and dreams looked more like a beautiful, lush green field of opportunity rather than a dusty minefield? (Cue Julie Andrews spinning in a said field from the movie The Sound of Music).
Imagine what it would feel like to show up in the world as the most beautiful, blissful version of you.
All you have to do next is give yourself permission to begin.