I'm weeping at my desk while the John Butler Trio fiercely strums in the background.
The music is loud and the tears are flowing as my fingers tick away at the keys.
The last 3 years of my life are whizzing through my brain, snapshots of moments flickering on the internal projector of my mind.
The moment our girl entered the world...
Those impossible first nights as parents...
The knowing that everything was different for the rest of time...
The "falling apart back together"-ness of it all (a term coined by my amazing friend Emily Ballard)...
The birth of this little girl brought us home....to one another, to ourselves, to our truth and to the realization that ...
I didn't want to live a life that didn't belong to me.
I didn't want to live in a place and space that wasn't meant for me.
I didn't want to work for someone else's dreams.
I was ready to crack the shell of my comfort zone.
I was ready to feel ALIVE.
I was willing to do whatever it took to be home with our little girl.
I was willing to do whatever it took to build a new foundation for my life that positioned freedom and family above all else.
I trusted myself enough to know that this was a non-negotiable.
The stakes were too high and I knew this day would be coming before I felt ready.
Today marks Anni's first day of preschool and instead of feeling lost in the swirl of her leaving the nest on this life benchmark, I am sitting in the quiet of my office writing (counting the minutes until I can go pick her up).
Instead of rushing off to work, worrying about what my boss wants me to do and crushing myself inside for all of it, I'm here talking with you.
I chose the difficult, seemingly impossible, pathway home to myself and to the life I was yearning for.
And I continue to choose it over and over again because I know that the risk is worth the reward.
This is the gift I bring...to myself and to others.
I was willing to have a conversation with myself about how things are so I could make space for what could be.
I was willing to take my head out of the sand to greet the possibility that awaited me on the other side of my comfort zone.
I was willing to get quiet enough to listen to what my heart had been trying to say.
And most of all, when the answers bubbled to the surface...
I was willing to do something about it.
My life's mission is to help women come home to themselves so they can come home to the lives they were created for, their inner truth and people they love the most.
It's about helping us live a more present existence so we don't miss the good stuff...so we can slow down enough to recognize that it's ALL good stuff when we really start paying attention.
It's about feeling these rugged and rich feelings, getting inspired and riding the wave of what comes next.
Because the truth is, our comfort zones are our greatest limitation.
What are you denying yourself from wanting?
What are you depriving yourself from feeling?
What is your current story holding you back from?
Trust yourself enough to know that if you can't shake that feeling, it means something.
And for goodness sake, start now.
What feels like a non-negotiable in your soul?
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