I had big goals for 2016.
Numbers that came out of my mouth at the accountant's office that felt like stretching and totally doable exhilaration all at once.
And as we sit here just 8 weeks from the close of another fiscal year, I can see the outline of that goal not too far off in the distance.
There are a things I could do to get there...digital acrobatics, flash sales and fancy promotional plans...lots of hours in the chair.
But here's the thing...
What it's going to take to get there is not what I really want.
The life I've crafted, the pace and space I've grown accustomed to doing my sacred work in...the time I get to spend with clients I genuinely adore feels better than any financial benchmark I could map out a plan to sprint to right now.
And after yet another night of choppy sleep, this morning looked like me in my bathrobe, cold tea on the coffee table, Little Einsteins on the tube and me firmly planted in the reality that my life as a work from home mama feels, more often that not, like one baby step forward, and two steps back.
And I'm totally ok with that.
For the last two and a half years, I've honed my life and career-juggling skills like never before.
And in the midst of it, I've helped hundreds of entrepreneurs all over the world, I've built a multiple six-figure business and brand, I've made friendships that will last a lifetime and I've allowed my soul to unfurl in the wind and take flight.
I've been home every, single day with our girl.
I've witnessed myself standing firmly planted in my own preferences in a way that makes me feel more alive than ever.
And what I've learned is that mamapreneurship, while never easy, is a beautiful dance that has given me the gift of coming home to who I really am.
I stopped writing this blog post more times than I can count to clean up spilled water, bake pretend muffins, facilitate a potty break, put a band-aid on a stuffed kitty, kiss a boo boo and snuggle.
And by my old standards, not getting this thing out to you when I had planned to would have felt like a total failure...
Until I decided to start valuing the bigger picture that is my life.
Because, in truth, the choices we make dictate the lives that we lead.
And I confidently and triumphantly made this choice despite the depths of the unknown I was diving in to.
I drove down the hill one last time with my career in a box on the seat next to me.
I chose family first and I put my ability to be with her in these younger years at the top of the list, no matter what that was going to take.
And while I've caught myself in comparison mode more times than I can remember, looking at my childless, entrepreneurial pals...marveling at their flawless launch plans, their ability to hop on a plane at a moment's notice, their finger-print-free white pants, their freedom to attend evening events and coffee dates whenever they want to...
I revel in the realization that, just as they have, I too, have consciously chosen a life that belongs to me.
One that ticks my soul fueled checks and balances system.
One that lets me live in the here and now, rather than in a world of regret missing moments I'll never be able to get back.
I've witnessed my former-pre-kid self cringe at how slow the progress can feel at times, at how far I could be right now if I would have invested in childcare sooner or chose to structure my business differently...but my former, present and future selves had a peace meeting and after taking hard look at what we all wanted out of this one precious life of ours...we exhaled at the sight of what we've created.
Everything I awoke to this morning was right there waiting for me.
Bathrobes and Paw Patrol picnics.
Unplanned check-in phone calls with a soul sister.
Client calls during nap time and a wide open evening to make it whatever we want it to be.
This is it.
So today I want to celebrate with you the opportunities that "falling short" on our big goals can provide.
I want to give you the gift of seeing that your soul was right all along.
I am and forever will be the champion of goals that encompass ALL angles of our glorious lives and the soft landings that make room for the space and grace to be with ourselves on this journey called life.
What goals are you ready to giveaway?
What value system isn't working for you anymore?
The ever-evolving process of consciously choosing will always make way for the wild unfolding of our dreams.
I believe in you.