When was the last time you said "yes" to yourself?
I'm talking a really exuberant HELL YA! kind of a yes?
I just got home from an incredible writing retreat in Kauai, Hawaii.
When I signed up, it was a 100% "hell yes" decision. But as the days ticked closer and I was actually walking on the plane, it started to feel like more of a "what the hell have I done?" kind of a decision.
Fact: I was scared.
My brain: What if something goes wrong while you're away?
Fact: I was traveling to the furthest spot away from my family, geographically speaking, that I ever had in my life.
My brain: How could I leave my baby for a full week?
Fact: I was stepping up to a new level of accountability and committing to writing my first book...
My brain: Who the heck was I to say I wanted to write a book?
Fact: I was putting my business on hold for a week.
My brain: What if everything falls apart while I'm gone...or worse...forever?
It was getting pretty dramatic up in here.
The thoughts in my head were tiny wrecking balls swinging back and forth, knocking down any shred of confidence and excitement I could muster.
By the time I landed, I had gotten myself completely freaked out.
I was uncharacteristically quiet and nervous.
I called my husband and my parents to tell them I had safely landed and they could immediately tell something was up.
"Everything's going to be ok, sweetie," said my eternally optimistic and supportive husband. "Everybody is ok here, your clients are going to be better served by you broadening your horizons, learning new skills and coming back with new experiences to share."
Just hearing his voice helped me pause and take a breath.
He was 100% right.
The women I met as we journeyed to the cottages shared their stories in the back of the van. I shared mine and slowly began to "un-grip."
Later that night, I had a full blown ugly cry episode in my room...Mascara ran down my face, my eyes were bloodshot from the tears and I was seriously contemplating getting on a plane in the morning.
I felt more homesick than I can remember feeling and at the same time, more present than ever before.
Present with the discomfort of stepping up to do something I've wanted to do all my life.
Present with the discomfort of not only talking the talk, but walking the walk...
When the sun came up in the morning, I wandered out to the beach to watch the waves roll in and write.
And what came next was a letter to you and me...
FOR THE PASSIONATE SOUL ON A MISSION:
Stop waiting for the answers, for your knight in shining armor, for someone else to do the work.
Get on the plane.
Pick up the phone.
Write the book.
Say the words you need to say.
Close yourself in your office and GSD.
Terrify yourself with your own boldness.
Trust your heart to keep on beating to it's own drum.
Lean in to the love that lives within you now and always.
Shine a spotlight on it and watch your technicolor dreams come to life.
Shed the necessary tears.
Strut your stuff.
Dive in head first.
Give yourself permission.
Eat the cake.
Run the race.
Stand center stage.
Raise your hand.
Push yourself like never before.
Do the things you've been running from all your life.
Go all out.
Be all in.
Face your dinosaurs.
Sing with your eyes closed.
Give it all you've got.
Be the first one to say "I love you."
Say "thank you."
Set yourself free.
Spread your wings.
Do the unexpected.
Feel the fear and do it anyway.
Do it your way.
Let your life be a masterpiece.
And most of all, don't forget to tell us all about it.
A hearty cheers to facing your fears and saying YES to who you are.
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-Laurén Carter, Finding U Admissions
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