What Your Friends Have to do with Your Success Story


Have you ever heard the saying, “You are the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with”?

Originally quoted by renowned business extraordinaire Jim Rohn, it has been carried forward by greats such as Tim Ferris, Tony Robbins and Oprah.You’ve heard it quoted by psychology publications, business execs and spiritual gurus, alike. Resoundingly,  everyone seems to be in agreement that there is some significant weight to this bold declaration.

I couldn’t agree more.

Nothing influences us more than the company that we choose to keep.

By design, we are a species that is wired to connect and adapt to our surroundings. This means we long for connection with others, we find it and then we acclimate and adapt to one another to fit in and belong.

Have you ever met someone for 10 minutes whose energy and attitude just lit you up and had you riding high for hours after you left them? Now imagine if you had 4 more friends like that, and got to hang out with them on a regular basis…

What if they were financially successful or had a stellar health regimen or a rich spiritual life? You can bet, your financial, health and spiritual game could get on the upswing too.

Consider how much more could you accomplish if the people you hung out with and texted with on the daily were focused on their own expansion and growth rather than on the excuses for why they aren’t where they want to be?

How much easier would it feel to live in a perpetual state of gratitude with a power posse of appreciative humans?

How much more fun would it be to do LIFE with a group of go-getter soul sisters and brothers?

On the days where you couldn’t see the light at the end of the tunnel, wouldn’t it be nice to have friends who had the flashlight?

The cool thing I’ve learned along the way is that our friends are a reflection of what’s going on in our inner world.

The company we keep is the barometer for how we are deciding to and choosing to live our lives on a daily basis.

Who are you choosing to spend your time with?

Are these folks a positive influence? A force for good? People with their own mission and big vision? Or are they constantly complaining about the circumstances they have found themselves in? Are they gossiping, arguing for their limitations or perpetuating their victim status?

It may feel harder than it seems, but when we choose good, our life reflects it on back.

When we decide to BE the example, our friends are often inspired to rise to the occasion and to “borrow our belief” in order to build their own.

I want to challenge you to get honest with yourself about this.

Is there a Debbie Downer in your life that you’re tired of having to pretend to be someone else around?

Is there a rockstar that you’re secretly wishing you could be besties with?

How can you make a shift to widen your circle for the uplifting company you are ready to keep?

A few ideas:

  • Join networking groups

  • Reach out to that friend on Facebook who is always posting positive content.

  • Look for meetup groups doing things you love to do.

  • Start your own meet-up or mastermind group and invite the people you want to meet (they may be busy, but you never know if they are needing this too!)

  • Better yet- join masterminds or create coaching groups, go to live events where you will meet like spirited individuals on a mission to change lives (especially their own).

  • Look for a mentor or a coach who gives you that vibe I mentioned before.

And don’t forget, these 5 people may in fact already be in your life.

Foster the relationships that give you all the feels and fill you up.

Spend time with your loved ones that have always shown you how much they appreciate you and you matter.

I also invite you to see your current tribe with new eyes - who have you been underestimating? Is there a chance that you have been wearing the Debbie Downer hat and it’s time to take it off to be of service to others and yourself?

Here’s an exercise for you to try out:

First, spend 3 minutes getting clear and sitting quietly while focusing on your breath.

Next, make a list of the 5 people you spend the most time around. Write down how you feel while/after you spend time with them and the quality of the conversations and behaviors that you have together. Would you like to continue having those types of conversations and growing in that direction, or would you like  to shift your trajectory?

Once that list is complete, if you answered “No” to the last question and would like to shift, write down what you could you bring to that relationship to help it expand. How would you like to see those conversations and behaviors change? Who could you be spending time with that embodies those qualities. Are they already someone you know? If they are, awesome! Call them right now and make their day!

If they’re not- how can you meet someone like them?

If you’re looking for ways and spaces to meet amazing souls on a journey similar to your own-

I’ve created something for just that purpose alone.

The Ignite Your Soul Summit is an 2-day immersive experience to help you awaken to your true potential, while coming home to who YOU really are.

You will be surrounded by 200 soul sisters and a few soul brothers too to help ignite your inner fire and connect with a tribe of passionate souls on a mission!

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Amber LilyestromComment